 Warning: if you, like me and most of the women I know, have ever suffered from body image issues, you might find this one emotional.
Marie Claire magazine, advocate of all things womanly, has recently come under fire for publishing hateful comments about fat people on its daily blog. Maura Kelly, writer and former anorexic, took particular umbrage with the CBS sitcom Mike and Molly, charging that the program promotes obesity and that fat people in general aren’t doing enough to get slim.
 Maybe you’re a Chekhov fan who happens to enjoy celebrity news. Or perhaps you’re a celeb watcher who’s always intended to brush up on your Russian literature, but just haven’t gotten around to it yet. Well, good news my high-culture/low-culture friends, because New York writer Ben Greenman has invented a novel mashup that “celebritizes” the works of famed Russian writer Anton Chekhov. Note: this might be the only time you get to read “Chekhov” and “Paris Hilton” in the same piece, so savour it.
 Ryan Gosling, Ontario’s hottest natural resource, has made a shocking confession: he hates watching his own movies. He told Interview magazine that the finished product never lives up to the excitement of filming. Does this mean that there are actually rolls and rolls of discarded Gosling naked scenes just waiting to be discovered? Because when I read “Gosling” and “excitement” in the same piece, that’s my natural conclusion.
 Gwyneth Paltrow has finally explained why she sobbed upon accepting her 1999 Oscar for Shakespeare in Love, and it’s not because her dress didn’t fit.
 Celine Dion and René Angélil have welcomed two tiny additions to their waterslide empire. The fraternal twin boys were delivered by Caesarean section on Saturday morning, and weighed 5 lbs 10 oz. and 5 lbs 4 oz. respectively.
 It's been a momentous week. Celine Dion was hospitalized (don't worry, she's fine), UsWeekly reported that Beyoncé and Jay-Z are expecting a baby, and yesterday I called on Paris Hilton to use her influence for a good cause. But it looks like this celebrity news week is going to finish where it started: with Justin Bieber. The Biebs, who was recently implicated in a bullying incident, can rest assured that while a certain British Columbian 12-year may hate him, Canadian icon Gordon Pinsent has got his back.
 I’ve always considered Paris Hilton’s career to be a bit of a sex crime. Would she be such a ubiquitous pop culture figure if not for the “accidentally leaked” home porn that launched her career? More importantly, how would the entertainment landscape be different if Paris’ plastic posing hadn't gained such prominence?
 Here’s another one for the “only in Hollywood” files: Jennifer Aniston’s dog has been diagnosed with depression. Apparently Norman, a 15-year old corgi-terrier mix, has become so disgusted with incessant Brangelina coverage in the Star magazines he uses as pee pads that he ran away from his shared home with Aniston. At least, that’s what I think happened. Until Paris Hilton’s people invent the dog-translator, we’ll never know exactly why he ran away, but we do (apparently) know this: his actions have landed him in doggie therapy.
 Oh, Taylor Swift. Older men are terribly enticing, aren’t they? But from a grown-up’s view it was easy to see that John Mayer was an awful choice for you, not nearly worthy. This morning I told my husband about your new single, “Dear John”, and how you blast an older lover, likely Mayer, with telling lyrics like, “Dear John/ I see it all now that you're gone/ Don't you think I was too young/ To be messed with/ The girl in the dress/ Cried the whole way home”. My man was disgusted by the implications, asking, “That d-bag? What was she thinking?” But I get it, Taylor, I do.
 Don’t demean Justin Bieber with gay slurs. Seriously, don’t. In fact, don’t use homophobic slurs against anyone. But especially not The Biebs.
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September 2010
