Katie Holmes talks to Ellen DeGeneres about daughter Suri Cruise’s predilection for X-rated candies.
Katie Holmes is comfortable with surprising ideas. She’s a Scientologist. She lets her 4-year old daughter, Suri, pick her outfits. She believes her husband, Tom Cruise, is “helpful and sweet and gracious.” But there’s one surprising word Katie Holmes cannot bring herself to say: penis.
Katy Perry’s mom is reportedly shopping a memoir that details how her daughter’s risqué act has affected her Christian ministry. 
Katy Perry’s mom wants her daughter to raise people’s spirits, but not in a sexy way. If she had her way, Katy Perry would be using her performance talents to lead faith healing sessions and Christian sing-a-longs. But instead the saucy pop starlet croons about kissing girls and melting figurative popsicles, and that doesn't jive with her mother's evangelical ministry.
Last week the New York Post reported that Katy Perry’s preacher mom, Mary Perry Hudson, has been shopping a proposal for a book about her famous daughter. This week the New York Post has obtained an actual copy of the proposal, which includes Mary Perry Hudson’s thoughts on her daughter’s frequently exposed breasts and “foul-mouthed” husband, Russell Brand.
This week on the newsstand: Suri Cruise has a serious sugar problem, Kate Middleton is desperate to gain weight and Oprah Winfrey’s mom is revenge blabbing. 
InTouch
Most Likely to Enter Baby Ford Rehab for Sugar Issues
Who cares if she’s only 4 years old? Suri Cruise gets what Suri Cruise wants, and what Suri Cruise wants is sweet, sweet sugar. It’s not just penis-shaped gummies that grab the tot’s attention, says InTouch. She has cupcakes for breakfast and ice cream, cotton candy and hot cocoa whenever she wants. But all that sugar and spice have not made Little Miss Cruise very nice, says the magazine, which presents a photo collage of Suri’s manic spurts of energy, withdrawal tantrums and sugar hangovers. She’s already acting like a child twice her age, and I wonder, what’s next for the precocious tot? All-night Bieber sing-a-longs?
Also in InTouch: What’s her bikini age? Bikini-wearing stars and pseudo-stars are rated for their bikini ages in this 2-page spread that proves little more than an extended dig at granny panty clad Ke$ha. At 24, Ke$ha was the only featured star whose bikini age (35) was higher than her biological age. Big winners were Courtney Cox (real age 46, bikini age 28) and Jenny McCarthy (real age 38, bikini age 23). Hopefully this is just the beginning of InTouch’s summer-themed coverage, as I’m excited to learn about celebrities' real flip-flop ages and what their hamburger toppings tell us about their personalities.
TMZ unearths footage of Whoopi Goldberg talking about the ‘wonderful joint’ she smoked before accepting her 1991 Oscar. 
Poor James Franco. Between completing his PhD at Yale, promoting upcoming flick Your Highness and juggling multiple future film projects, he’s got a lot on his plate. But that hasn’t stopped the world from speculating about his sobriety at the 2011 Oscars. Truth be told, he did seem…vacant. But last week Oscar writer Bruce Vilanch cleared the air of any perceived marijuana scent and confirmed that James Franco was not high at the Oscars. But do you know who was? Whoopi Goldberg.
The Hoff waxes nostalgic about visiting the Playboy Mansion for Hugh Hefner's annual Midsummer Night's Dream bash. 
Before David Hasselhoff was a cautionary tale, he was a man-about-town, a real boy’s club kind of guy. Back then he ate hamburgers without inviting derision, and scored invitations to Hugh Hefner’s Playboy Mansion parties.
He recently talked to Britain’s BBC radio about his favourite Playboy Mansion shindig, which featured Playboy bunnies wearing body-paint swimsuits.
Michael Lohan was arrested Monday night on three counts of felony domestic violence.  When someone reprehensible is arrested, it’s common to feel a sense of vindication; a revengeful relief that bad people will face bad consequences. That’s why we still have prisons: though they often cause more social problems than they solve, prisons provide punishment, and sometimes stomping on bad seeds just feels more satisfying than helping them sprout new leaves. So it’s likely that many people will feel cheered by the news that Lindsay Lohan’s gross dad Michael Lohan was arrested on Monday night on charges of domestic violence.
The ‘Baby’ singer reveals that he spent his childhood sleeping on a pull-out couch, surrounded by mouse traps. 
Just like Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera and Justin Timberlake, Canadian superstar Justin Bieber spent his childhood in a mouse house. Unfortunately for Bieber, his mice didn’t sing, wear suspenders or negotiate endorsements.
Charlie Sheen has announced he’s expanding his “Violent Torpedo of Truth, Defeat Is Not an Option Tour”, which now includes dates in Toronto and Vancouver.  It’s been a big year for Toronto. First, we got that monster storm that turned into nothing more than a carefree snow day. Then Elton John rocked a tutu at the premiere of Billy Elliot. Shortly after, Lady Gaga invited a 10-year old Winnipegger to perform with her, expanding hopes that one day even we (well, me, anyway) could enjoy a Gaga duet. But those events are nothing compared to the epic torpedo of truth that is set to explode in Toronto and Vancouver later this spring. Charlie Sheen is coming. Will life ever be the same?
The jewelry store that accused Lindsay Lohan of stealing their necklace is now trying to sell their story as a book or movie.  Have you ever watched idiots debate? It’s a hard scene for an intelligent person to witness; sitting on the sidelines, itching to interrupt and talk some sense; to jump in and help them find a better, smarter mode of expression. But as tempting as it is to intervene, it’s rarely a useful exercise. Some people just have their heads lodged so firmly up their own behinds they think they can see the light from the other side, and there’s no use trying to tell them otherwise.
This is how I feel watching the ongoing saga between Lindsay Lohan and Kamofie and Co., the jewelry store which has accused her of stealing their necklace. What was once a simple case of a small store against Lindsay Lohan—a huge disaster, has now turned into a dirty morass of opportunism, spin-doctoring and deceit. And it could get worse. Much worse. Kamofie and Co., which already nabbed $35,000 for selling surveillance video of the alleged shoplifting incident, is now reportedly angling to turn the story into a book or movie deal. Brace yourself.
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February 2011
