Found 7 posts tagged as "Paris Hilton"
 Maybe you’re a Chekhov fan who happens to enjoy celebrity news. Or perhaps you’re a celeb watcher who’s always intended to brush up on your Russian literature, but just haven’t gotten around to it yet. Well, good news my high-culture/low-culture friends, because New York writer Ben Greenman has invented a novel mashup that “celebritizes” the works of famed Russian writer Anton Chekhov. Note: this might be the only time you get to read “Chekhov” and “Paris Hilton” in the same piece, so savour it.
 It's been a momentous week. Celine Dion was hospitalized (don't worry, she's fine), UsWeekly reported that Beyoncé and Jay-Z are expecting a baby, and yesterday I called on Paris Hilton to use her influence for a good cause. But it looks like this celebrity news week is going to finish where it started: with Justin Bieber. The Biebs, who was recently implicated in a bullying incident, can rest assured that while a certain British Columbian 12-year may hate him, Canadian icon Gordon Pinsent has got his back.
 I’ve always considered Paris Hilton’s career to be a bit of a sex crime. Would she be such a ubiquitous pop culture figure if not for the “accidentally leaked” home porn that launched her career? More importantly, how would the entertainment landscape be different if Paris’ plastic posing hadn't gained such prominence?
 Old Hollywood glamour is dead, says legendary actress Joan Collins. The diva, who has gained as much notoriety for her snarky antics as Alexis Carrington Colby on TV’s Dynasty as she has for own silver tongue, recently slammed modern Hollywood in an interview with Britain’s The Daily Mail (via Celebitchy).
Her main contention? Today’s actresses just aren’t pretty enough. “When I was young,” said the actress, “everybody on screen was gorgeous.”
Miley Cyrus didn't always
have her cute name. The pop star, who reportedly spent the weekend enjoying Paris’s
laxer teen drinking laws, was actually born Destiny Hope Cyrus. Surprisingly,
Cyrus did not want to spend her life sounding like a bad soap opera, so she
legally changed her name to Miley. According to TMZ, now her mom, Leticia is
following suit, and has filed to become “Tish” instead.
Hollywood, of course, is
full of discarded names, from Michael Douglas (Michael Keaton’s birth name,
which he had to give up because it was already taken by, uh, Michael Douglas) to Stefani Germonatta
(now Lady Gaga).
But my favourite name change
had nothing to do with fixing bad parental choices (seriously, Destiny Hope?),
sounding cooler, or avoiding confusion with similarly named actors. Those of
you who sent their little ones back to school this morning may wish your
children were as excited about education as pop chanteuse Shakira (yes, that’s
her real name) is. The Latin sensation has been known to go by her middle name, Isabel, so that she can enjoy university classes incognito,
something she likes to do when she’s on break from tour. A few years ago she
told UK’s The Guardian, “The universe is so broad, I cannot be at the centre of
it. So I decided to go to the university and study history for a summer course,
just to kind of switch gears, taste the student life.”
If only all of Hollywood’s
starlets would choose education, instead of say, clubbing, as their relaxation
of choice, then I could run headlines like “LiLo and Paris Just Can’t Agree
on the Best Postmodern Novel” instead of “Paris Hilton/Lindsay Lohan Gets
Arrested Again." Wouldn’t that be nice?
Paris Hilton was arrested this weekend. Again. For possessing
drugs. Again. This time, the drug of arrest was cocaine, and once more
representatives for the heiress are reminding us that Paris only carries banned
substances for publicity purposes. Okay, they’re not saying that
at all, but puh-lease. Either the
girl does drugs, or she carries other people’s drugs so she can get caught and
soak in the subsequent media attention. My guess is both. In any case, here’s what
her lawyer, David Chesnoff, really said: "This matter will be dealt with in the courts, not
in the media, and I encourage people not to rush to judgment until all of the
facts have been dealt with in a court of law."
Sorry to break it to you,
Mr. Chesnoff, but this matter will be dealt with in the courts and in the media. But not today, not
by me. Because it just doesn’t feel like news anymore when Paris Hilton gets
arrested for drugs and claims they weren’t hers. And, I’d like to encourage
Miss Hilton to adopt a new attention-seeking strategy. Because while she was
up to the same old garbage this weekend, other celebrities were busy doing
really good things for the planet and its people. And we should celebrate them.
Right now. So, without further ado, here are two stars who could teach
Miss Hilton a lesson or two about being a good human:
Uttering ridiculous sentences is all part of the job when you’re
representing Paris Hilton. Take this one from Hilton’s rep to the Daily Mail
yesterday: "The hat was not a
communist hat, it's a military-style hat from a club.”
This comment came after the heiress was photographed in red
military hat while either a.) dancing with an outstretched arm and scratching
her face or b.) faking a mustache and brandishing a Heil Hitler. Judge for
yourself here.
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